Zombie Jokes That Are Drop Dead Funny

Q: What is the safest place to be in a zombie apocalypse?
A: The living room.

Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
A: Because the jokes he told where rotten.

Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: DEADication!

Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately…

Q: Why did the zombie ignore all his new Facebook friends?
A: He was still Digesting all his old Facebook friends!

Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the job?
A: They wanted someone more lively!

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite TV show?
A: American Pickers!

Q: Why did the zombie go to the hospital?
A: He wanted to learn some real sick jokes!

Q: Why did the zombie bite off the comedians hands?
A: The jokes were to funny to handle!

Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place?
A: With SCARE spray!

Q: How do zombies tell their future?
A: With their HORRORscope!

Q: Who do cowboy zombies fight?
A: DEADskins!

Q: Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
A: He had NO LEG to STAND ON!

Q: How do zombies serve their country?
A: In the Marine CORPSE!

Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A: No, they EAT the FINGERS separately!

Q: How do you know a zombie is tired?
A: He’s dead on his feet.

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo and snack called?
A: Head and shoulders!

Q: What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
A: Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?

Q: What does a zombie get when he comes home late for dinner?
A: The cold SHOULDER!

Q: What did the zombie say to the kid?
A: Stop hitting me in the head!

Q: How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
A: They are wearing helmets!

Q: How are zombies like computers?
A: They use megaBITES!

Q: Do zombies eat dinner with their family?
A: No, their family was the dinner!

Q: Who won the zombie war?
A: Nobody, it was a DEAD tie!

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite toy?
A: A DEADY bear!

Q: What did the zombie say before his fight?
A: Do you want a piece of me?

Q: Why did the zombie cross the road?
A: He wanted to eat the chicken!

Q: Why did the zombie cross the road?
A: He wanted to eat the chicken sandwich you just ate!

Q: What time do zombies wake up?
A: At ate o’clock!

Q: Where do zombies go on cruises?
A: The DEADiterranean Sea!

See a complete list of Zombie jokes and all kinds of jokes at HalloweenJokes.com